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It’s difficult to engage in higher cognitive functions when gifts are at stake.

Chisel that onto my tombstone.

As for what would make me really happy?

Imaginary friends. Fall Out Boy’s new album. Bespoke suits. Books. Women. Table Tennis. Stimulating conversation. Travel. Needlessly elaborate inventions. Independent thought. Christmas lights. Incongruity. The jangle of pocket change (in moderation). A new season of Dexter. The Dalmore. Waking to the smell of breakfast (anybody cooking for me of their own accord, for that matter).  Calcutta. Receiving letters. Animal Planeton a Sunday Night. Children, in groups of three or fewer. Having something whispered in my ear. Dark chocolate. Double entendres. Wai-Wai. Mastery of a new body of knowledge. Winter. Pepperoni. Achieving a favorable outcome on behalf of a deserving objective.


About Humbug

My past has a way of making my present feel jealous of the future.